Caring For Yourself And Others
Whether you are a friend or part of the immediate family, you are part of our circle of care. Below you will find information we hope you find helpful. If you are arranging a service for a loved one, there are some things you may wish to do before meeting with us to make things easier. Lifesharer helps people to come together online to remember the remarkable life that a loved one lived. The florist we have chosen can send flowers at a reasonable price. The information on coping with grief offers helpful advice for the journey. A few pointers on how to write a eulogy should help you if you have been given this great privilege.
Before You Meet With Us
If you are arranging the service for a loved one, there are a number of things that you may wish to do before we meet for the first time to help make things easier.
Selection of Coffins and Caskets (6.5MB PDF)
Consider the shape, colour, materials and fittings you think are most appropriate.
If you have any photos that are precious too you, please bring the original either printed or on a USB key.
Select the title and artist you would like to be heard during the service. Usually 3 pieces are sufficient.
So we may dress your loved one appropriately.
If you were wanting one, it is good to have considered it beforehand.
Are you wanting to send flowers to the family we are serving of someone who has passed away? The easiest way is to call … and place an order over the phone. Please call at least 1 business day before the funeral.
… will make arrangements with us to ensure that the flowers are there on the day of the funeral service.
Coping with Grief
As we learn to cope with our loss and adjust to a changed situation, we may go through many changes of feelings, thoughts and behaviours. We may even question our spiritual beliefs. This is grief in action.
There are no right or wrong ways to grieve, and feelings of loss do not stick to a rigid timetable. Everyone reacts differently and will come to terms with loss in their own time.
However, there are some reactions to death and dying that are common to many people. These reactions may include sadness, depression, anger, guilt, regret, thoughts of why me?, resentment, poor concentration, and/or withdrawal from social activities.
As you make your way through the grief process and need understanding and information, you may seek assistance. Be patient with yourself and don’t be afraid to ask for help. Consider talking to a friend who will listen without judgement, or write in a private journal to express your feelings.
Caring for yourself is perhaps one of the most difficult things for us to do. Often we are busy and worried about how other people are coping and put off looking after ourselves. The process of our grief is unique to us because our relationship with the deceased is personal and making meaning of this loss may be complex, bewildering and painful. It will take time to adjust to life without them.
The music selected should echo the style of the person who is being honoured, reflecting their taste and personal choices. Young people often play modern rock music; sometimes a football theme song is chosen.
Some popular funeral music choices include:
• Robbie Williams, Angels
• Bette Midler, The Rose
• Eva Cassidy, Over The Rainbow
• Vera Lynn, We’ll Meet Again
• The Kinks, Days
• Celine Dion, My Heart Will Go On
• Eric Clapton, Tears In Heaven
• Frank Sinatra, My Way
• Elton John, Candle in the Wind
• Christina Perri, A Thousand Years
• Sarah Blasko, Perfect Now
• James Blunt, Goodbye My Lover
• Prince, When Doves Cry
Writing a Eulogy
Sometimes people say that giving a eulogy for someone close to them is one of the greatest achievements of their life. If you have been given the task, it’s a great privilege.
You might be asking yourself where to begin. To write a good story, find the emotive moments. Emotions make things memorable. Think of a moment that lead to an exceptional emotion, rather than simply an intense one. It might involve surprise, awkwardness, fear, extreme satisfaction, anger or joy. Get a collection of these moments and assemble them in a way that fits the context.
The trap that some fall into when writing a eulogy is to make it too long, making it loose its impact. Better eulogies might go for between 5 and 10 minutes; the equivalent of 1,000 words for a speech of this length. If you are going to write your eulogy word-for-word, then you might print it out with double-spacing and in a slightly larger font than normal to make it easier to read. The close family will likely be happy to get a printed copy of the eulogy after the service.